


Gray

by bluemoongirl99



Series: Black, White, and Gray [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Gen, Peter is a crazy good hacker, Peter would totally be on Steve's side I mean did ANYONE SEE HOMECOMING like come ON, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve and Peter talking, Steve is a good guy, might be turned into a series later?, probs not because i'm lazy and super busy but there's some hope if you wanna beg, steve is such a better mentor than tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 04:05:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12313428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoongirl99/pseuds/bluemoongirl99
Summary: Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school.He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.





	Gray

**Author's Note:**

> I went and saw Spider-Man again at the cheap theatre with my best friend and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. I wanted Steve and Peter to talk about things because there's no way that Peter wouldn't end up on his side. I mean, did anyone see Homecoming? Peter fucking hated Tony telling him when he could and could not intervene, and disobeyed him anyway. 
> 
> Also, it hasn't been revealed yet canonically what happened to Peter's parents, so I made up my own thing that seemed fitting. I hope you guys like it! I have so many in depth ideas and themes in here so I'd love to talk to y'all in the comments. 
> 
> If you want more of this universe (the Stucky, honestly) I'll see what I can do. But I'm going to school and work full time so it might take a while, because I'm a piece of shit. 
> 
> I also have like 5 bandom fics that I should be updating instead of writing this nonsense. I'm SORRY. But I get to post my Bandom Big Bang fic on Tuesday, so I'm crazy stoked.

When Peter unlocked and opened the door to his apartment, he expected maybe to see Aunt May, even though she’d be home for work early. Or, even Tony, because stopping by unannounced seemed to be his MO. The _last_ person though that he expected to see in his living room was Captain America himself. 

Captain Am - Steve, Peter corrected himself. _Steve_ was standing with his back facing him. His arms were crossed as he gazed out of Peter’s 27th floor window. Peter flicked his gaze around his apartment hurriedly, trying to figure out all the escape routes, and possible weapons. The knives tucked securely in the kitchen drawer several feet away from him were out of question, and his suit was in his backpack. He cursed himself mentally for not wearing it under his clothes like usual, but it got stuffy in class, and not to mention it made changing in the bathroom for gym all the more annoying.

If he had to hear Flash accuse him of changing in the bathroom because he didn’t want to show off his “small penis” again he was going to flip. What kind of name was _Flash_ anyway. He briefly tinkered with the idea of reaching for his web-shooters that were in the second flap of his backpack. 

He didn’t honestly think that Steve, Captain America of all people, would really hurt him. But he couldn’t help the small burn of fear in the back of his throat. Sure, he had somewhat took him on in the past, and came out the other side, but that was decidedly different. Firstly, it hadn’t been just them one on one, there was a whole team there. Plus, Tony had not so kindly told him that Steve had gone easy on him, letting him out easy.

Just as he snuck his hand in the direction of the pocket of his backpack, Steve spoke up. “I don’t usually like to break into people’s homes. It’s rude but, I figured if I just showed up at your school it would only lead to a lot of questions that shouldn’t be answered.” 

“If you’re going to take me as a hostage, I’ll warn you, I won’t go down without a fight.” Peter told him, trying to puff out his chest at least a little bit. 

His words finally made Steve turn around. “Take you as a what…?” He looked at Peter with utter confusion until he saw his face, then let out a small disbelieving chuckle. “Jesus Christ, kid. I’m not here to take you hostage.” 

It was Peter’s turn to be confused. “Then what are you here for?” 

Steve faced him completely. “I wanted to meet you in person, properly. Believe it or not, I don’t like all my first impressions to be violent. Also,” his eyes flickered over Peter’s body, seeming to take him all in. “I wanted to meet the kid that Tony plucked out of obscurity, and seems to think so highly of.” 

“Why do you care what Tony thinks of me?” Peter asked, trying to take on a hard tone of voice. He was doing his best to suppress the squealing in the back of his head over the fact that Steve fucking Rogers was in his living room, apparently engaging him in casual conversation.

Peter knew he was obligated to be on Tony’s side for the issue, so that meant Steve was the enemy. Though, he felt his resolve filtering when Steve let out a sigh that didn’t sound like anything other than pure exhaustion. “Tony was - is my friend. His opinions matter to me, even if I don’t always listen to them.” He glanced at Peter wryly. “I’m not a bad guy. I just try to do what I think is right, and what helps me sleep at night.” 

Peter didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to do with a confession like that. 

“How old even are you, kid?” Steve asked.

“15.” Peter told him stiffly, getting a little tired of everyone referring to him as “kid” all the time. 

“Jesus.” Steve muttered under his breath. “Tony must have been really desperate.”

Now Peter was offended. “Hey.”

Steve did have the decency to look a little guilty. “I didn’t mean it badly it’s just. You’re a kid. You should be enjoying high school, and your friends. Not dealing with this shit.” 

Peter blinked at Steve swearing, but he figured he was a human still, even after everything. He had to refrain himself from rolling his eyes. He was sick of every adult in his life not taking him seriously. “High school sucks. So, you want me to just wait around and twiddle my thumbs until I’m 18, and watch the world fall apart? You’re just as bad as Tony.”

“I just don’t think you’re mature enough to understand-”

“Well when you watch your Mom and Dad murdered in front of you when you’re ten years old it matures you pretty damn fast.” Peter felt himself snap. Steve went quiet and Peter’s eyes widened as he realized what he had said. He hadn’t talked about it with anyone. He never talks about it. He never talks about watching his parents get shot, and bleeding out on their kitchen floor. He never talks about putting pressure over his Mother’s bleeding chest, per his Father’s instructions, even though his Father was bleeding out and dying too. He never talks about how cold his parents skin was when the ambulance finally arrived. He never talks about how he can sometime still feel their blood on his hands, how it was thin and sticky, and warm. He never breathed a word about it. 

Steve’s face kind of crumbles, and Peter then remembers flashes of his history textbook. Most specifically, the section that talks about Steve growing up in an orphanage. “Aunt May is great.” He says quietly, almost to himself. Steve doesn’t say anything. Steve probably doesn’t even know who his Aunt May is, or care. “She does what she can, and she tries so hard.” Peter bites his lip. “Aunt May is great.” 

“You should hold onto the people that you love.” Steve told him quietly, then turned to look out the window again. “Because one day, you’ll have been fighting for so long that as soon as you have a second to breathe, you’ll realize all of them are gone. What’s the point of fighting if you have no one to fight for?”

Peter hesitated, hoping he wasn’t crossing a line. “You fight for Sgt. Barnes though.” 

Steve took in a sharp breath before saying, “yeah,” in nearly a whisper. 

Peter looked down at his shoes. “He has 50 confirmed kills. He assassinated Kennedy.”

Steve turned around abruptly. His eyes were steel. “How do you know about that?”

“I umm,” Peter blushed, only just realizing how much trouble he could be in. “I sort of hack a little bit in my free time? When everything with the Winter Soldier was all over the news I couldn’t understand why Captain America, was fraternizing and protecting a soviet assassin. So I kind of hacked into the SHIELD database? And umm, read up on all their files that involved him and found out a bunch of stuff.” 

Steve stared at him. “The SHIELD database is the most encrypted, and protected database practically in the world. What the _fuck_.”

Peter’s blush deepened. “I’m sort of like, really good at it? Umm.”

“What do you know?”

Peter swallowed, looking around nervously. “I know that the Winter Soldier is Sgt. Barnes, which is pretty wild, but also made a lot of sense at the time as to why you were going after him, but never taking him out.” Peter looked at Steve nervously, “I read up on his treatment plans through SHIELD. There wasn’t a good response and they seemed to be doing more harm than good, and I took some notes on some better ones.” 

Steve raised an eyebrow, and Peter felt properly scrutinized. “I’m not like a psychologist or anything,” he added hastily. “But, I took several Psych classes in high school. But this kind of stuff is common sense. They’re trying to tell him everything about his past. But that’s not working because you can’t just tell people stuff and expect them to believe it concretely. You have to see it, and feel it. Basically, Sgt. Barnes has to remember things himself. The best thing to do is to take him to places, or things that would trigger memories. He’d be more likely to believe things that way, and memories are connected to senses more than anything.” 

“That all?” Steve asked.

“He should probably stop seeing all of those SHIELD therapists.” 

Steve frowned. “I thought therapy is a good thing.” 

Peter nodded eagerly. “No! It is! It totally is! Just, you have to have the right one with the right specialty for it to work, you know? The SHIELD therapists are used to working with more spy types who are detached, and less compassionate, I assume. I think it would be best to have him look into more VA treatment, and see a Veteran, PTSD specialist. He was a spy by force, but a soldier by choice.”

Steve continued to stare at him for a bit before saying, “Maybe Tony wasn’t desperate after all.” 

“Sgt. Barnes was a good guy. I just don’t get how HYDRA could have done so much to him. He was a good guy.” Peter looked Steve in the eye, a little desperately. “He was a good guy.” 

Steve sighed, and got the same tired look back on his face. “The world isn’t black and white. Right now, your world is black and white. There’s good guys, and then there’s bad guys. I used to think it was black and white too. There were nazis, and then people who weren’t nazis. But then when I got out of the ice I walked into a world that was gray. Everything’s gray, and it starts being impossible to pick sides. Sometimes, good people do bad things, and bad people do good things.”

“I want that on a t-shirt.” Peter muttered, quirking up his lip slightly, trying to lighten the mood, but Steve’s words still hung heavy in the air. He was starting to understand a little more about the world being gray. Liz’s Dad had done bad things, and hurt people. But he was also Liz’s Dad. He went to Football games, and cheered them on at Decathlon matches. He was just - a person. Peter coughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Steve smiled at him, sadly. “You’re a good kid.” 

After a few seconds he walked past him, and seemed to be on his way out. “I think,” Peter ended up starting, wanting to get it out before Steve left, and would be AWOL for who knows how long. His voice sounded too loud and kind of off. “Tony doesn’t have a best friend. He’s never had a best friend. Sure, he has Rhodey, but it’s not the same. I think that’s why he doesn’t get it. He’s never had someone close to him like that. But Sgt. Barnes is your best friend, and I have a best friend, so I get that.”  
Steve paused, and looked back at him, but Peter wasn’t done. Peter sat flopped down onto his couch, and put his head in his hands. “Tony would kill me if he ever heard me saying this but-” he cut himself off as Steve watched him. “I read up on all the accords stuff. On everything. I hacked into SHIELD and read the contracts, and the transcripts from all your meetings, and the meeting with the UN.” 

“At first it sounded like a great idea. It sounds great on paper. But then I got my suit, and suddenly I have Tony telling me when I can and cannot intervene. It drove me crazy, because he wasn’t here. He wasn’t on the ground, he didn’t _know_. There was a guy selling modified alien weapons, and Tony didn’t think it was serious. It made me realize that you’re right. You can’t just sit around and wait for a council to decide what you do. They’re not on the ground. They don’t know what it’s like.” 

“I’ve never experienced war like you have. Sure, there’s been war in the middle east my entire life but, it’s always been far away and easily ignorable. But as soon as you guys fight anyone, there’s outcry about the casualties. I think because war has been so far away for so long that people forget that when there’s war, there’s going to be casualties. Even if it’s heartbreaking and it sucks, that’s the price of war. That’s why you fight. So that there will eventually be peace.” 

“That’s pretty wise.” Steve told him. “But what are you saying?” 

Peter licked his lips. “I’m saying, it took first hand experience, but I think I’m on your side. Even if Tony takes away the suit again, and shuns me, I can’t ignore what’s right. And, you’re right. So when it comes down to it, I want you to know that I’m on your side, and I’m here if you ever need back up again. I may not be as much without my suit, but I promise you can have the full extent of my 15 year old rage.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Steve told him, then reached inside his back pocket. He pulled out a burner phone. “This was the one I was going to use today, but I want you to have it.” He tossed it at Peter, who caught it easily. “Keep it for if I ever need you.” He then hesitated before throwing in: “Or if you need anyone to talk to. I know a little bit about your body abruptly changing, and having to get used to it. I also remember being 15 and having no one taking me seriously a little more vividly than most of the rest of the Avengers.” 

Peter stared down at the phone in his hand, before giving Steve a bright grin. He was going to say more, but was cut off by his front door opening. A guy stepped in with a stocky toned build, a baseball cap on, and a bulky jacket on, despite it being a muggy New York April. But when Peter saw his face, he recognized him, and the jacket made much more sense. 

“The Aunt’s coming up the stairs. She’s on the 7th floor, time to leave.” Sgt. Barnes told him in a clipped tone, before stepping out and shutting the door again. 

Steve turned his attention back to Peter, but Peter had been looking at Steve practically the whole time, and it all dawned on him. The look on Steve’s face, the body language - it was all so obvious now. 

“Oh.” Peter breathed, almost wanting to laugh because _of course_. Nothing made more sense. 

Steve gazed at him questionly. 

Peter only gave him a small smile. “You love him.” 

Steve crossed his arms defensively. “He’s my best friend.” 

Peter shook his head. “Yeah. And you love him.” Peter grinned. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” He gestured towards the door. “You should probably head out if you don’t want Aunt May to catch you.”

 

Steve gave him a look that was more unbelieving than anything. “I’m not going to tell you to stay out of trouble, because that would be a waste of breath. But be careful, okay?” 

“Always.” Peter promised. 

Steve stepped out, and as soon as the door was closed Peter slunk back onto the couch. Holy fuck. Captain America and him just had a heart to heart in his living room. His life could not get any more insane.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! You can also hit me up on tumblr: babyashleym


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